The Apex of Humanity

Japan is a lovely country. It's also a gorgeous country.

Though I have personally been here twice before, I feel that as I grow older (sigh), I correspondingly become more "self-aware" and therefore more cognizant of subtle differences. Have I confused you yet? While I'm on this mental detour, I don't think I really achieved self-consciousness until about the age of 3, then I probably lapsed for several years, whereupon I discovered this thing people called free will at the precocious age of 13. There have been many ups and downs in the annals of this life since that time.

But anyway, back to the topic at hand. Do indulge me. You'll also have to forgive us for posting less pictures - at this juncture in our trip, Natasha has returned to the Bay Area.

We arrived in Tokyo late at night. Narita (the airport) is, as expected, modern, well-lit, and very clean. We got through immigration, collected our bags, and made for the subway station to hop on to a train. Narita's subway station is only served by the Keisei line, so we take that to Aoto, switch to the Toei Asukasa line, and disembark at Asukasa station. We walked a short distance over a river "like satin" (Ron John) to our hostel for the night, the Khaosan Tokyo Samurai.

The doorway is incredibly small - I'm certain it was built for hobbits, because it was barely 4 feet tall. Okay, maybe it was just the nighttime half-door, but still.

The hostel itself is an entire chapter. The room smelt like some kind of fish, but to this date, the odor is unidentifiable. The stairwells and bathroom doors all had cut-out images or banners of samurai and geisha-like figures, most of whom had attached speech bubbles.

Geisha One, mid-sashay, proclaims to Red-Cloaked Samurai, "Where is the vending machine??" Whereupon Red-Cloaked Samurai exclaims, "On the first floor. Cheapest drinks!!!"

Vending machines are everywhere in Japan. Every train station has at least forty-seven. I'm sure that Tokyo itself must have at least several hundred million. Some of them sell soda, most of them sell some variation of fruit juice or water, and some of them still sell HOT canned coffee. What perplexes me most about certain vending machines is that a select few we have seen sell certain drinks for ¥108. Why the weird number? I understand it's a very nice one (9 times 12, and who doesn't love multiples of 12?), but it seems like life would be simpler without having to carry 1-Yen coins.

On the first floor of the hostel, there's an entire wall littered with pertinent information for backpackers. "Great bars in this area, we recommend X and Y." "Learn how to speak Japanese to girls." "Learn how to speak Japanese to guys." "Learn how to speak Japanese to anyone." "¥100 store here, another one, slightly larger, there." "Do try out Khaosan Burger just around the corner. Breakfast for ¥350!" The list goes on, but I shall not bore you further.

Of course, none of us thought to take any photographs of the place.

You've probably heard this before, but I must mention it again. Everyone in Japan is so damn polite and nice. I walk into a store and they shout welcome (at least I think they do, god knows what they're really saying). I don't buy anything and they still say thank you. I buy something and they say thank you a lot, and smile at me, and every single gesture I make, they say something unintelligible with this beaming smile like the sun itself was shining just for me! God I love this place.

Japan is also amazingly advanced. In the airport, next to the information desk, is a real-time (high resolution) map of the current traffic conditions in the city's major thoroughfares. It's so sensible! It's right next to the limousine and taxi booking counter. Of course! It makes so much sense!

After staying the night in Tokyo at the Khaosan Samurai, we made our way to the train station at Asakusa-bashi to board our train to Matsumoto. Due to a slight mix-up, we ended up having to go to Tokyo station instead, where we finally got our Japan Rail passes (good for 7 days, unlimited JR rides), and we boarded the train to Matsumoto, with a short transfer at Nagano.

In Japan, do as the Japanese do, I suppose.
On the shinkansen (burret train) to Nagano station.

We got to Matsumoto and checked into our Ryo-kan. The owner was very nice, the rooms had tatami mats and smelled like fresh grass, and we got to use bicycles for free as part of staying there. So, we biked into town to see Matusmoto Castle, which, alas, was closed already (it was now about 4:30pm).

A picture that George took for us.

George is what I'm calling the husband
of the family that owns this place.

The tatami mats and floor mattresses

of one of our Ryo-kan rooms. Simply adorable.

Biking from Ryo-kan Seifu-so to downtown Matsumoto.

In front of Matsumoto castle, a samurai castle.

Wandering the city, we came across a street map on Nakamachi Street. Yet another example of Japanese common-sense (i.e. ingenuity to most cultures). I was looking at the map while I was facing south - strangely enough, the map was also oriented to face south (as in, the top of the map was south). How odd... Then, I went to the other side of the map, and lo-and behold, it showed the same street map, but this time, it was facing north, just like I was! This was amazing! Usually when I use a street map (as I hope you do as well), I have to orient the map so that the direction on the map that is "top" is aligned with the cardinal direction that I am facing - it makes placing locations relative to my sense of "front" and "back" so much easier. But this map did all that work for me! The realization was mind-boggling.

One never knows what one may find
on the strange and wondrous streets.

After wandering about, we had dinner at a restaurant called Kura. Most of us ordered the tempura dinner, which was very good, but the highlight was the bee larvae that we ordered and each partook of. If I made some fried rice, and chucked a whole load of this stuff in your fried rice, you'd chow it down without ever realizing that there were baby bees inside your food. They were very small, 1/4 of an inch in length at most, and maybe 1/8 inch in width at most. They were also covered in a sweet sauce, and they felt somewhat dense and powdery. But really there wasn't much else you could tell about it.

Bee larvae.

I got into a moral debate with Tom and Ron about pouring tempura dipping sauce into their bowl of Japanese rice "to make it taste better". I am of the opinion that the dish was meant to be enjoyed a particular way, and to knowingly adulterate the culinary experience was a self-destructive act of great reprehension! I remain solitary in my beliefs on the matter, but I must admonish all of you who read these words that you should be uncompromising in the standards that you set for the appreciation of the food, nay, culture, that you partake of! To do any less would be visiting a misdeed of great proportions upon your very own soul.

After dinner, we went to a dim, wood-paneled bar called Main Bar Coat. The cocktails were fantastic, and the bartenders wore grey vests. As usual, they were exceedingly nice, polite, and hospitable. I can't remember what the exact cocktails were, but they were very icy cold and therefore very satisfying. They also served us some small pieces of bread with pate and with potato mash of some sort (the one dude in the bar said it was cuttlefish, but, I don't know......).

After a couple drinks, I was fading very quickly, so we made our way back on our bikes. The bikes were also another piece of ingenuity. It had one small key - insert the key to unlock the bike, and then press down a button and remove the key to engage the built-in locking mechanism. Need a bike light? No worries, just flip a switch next to the front wheel and you have a dynamo-powered bike light ready to go! Gear shift, bicycle bell, kickstand, seat height adjustment - everything. Pure genius. Did I mention the nifty basket in the front? Perfect for hauling those oversized travel guidebooks that always annoyingly describe 178 more touristy locations that you ever intend to visit in one country. Who uses these things???

The night passed relatively peacefully in restful slumber.

The Japanese super toilet. It combines bidae, toilet, flushing,
handwashing, diaper changing, tax-return filing, emotional
psychotherapy and reminds you when you forgot to pay a monthly bill.
It's upside down.

Now we come at last to the end of my time on this blog - as much as I have enjoyed writing you incredibly long, detailed ramblings that I am sure none of you actually read in full (POST MORE COMMENTS ON MY POSTS DAMN IT), my chapter ends quite soon.

I boarded the bus to the train station behind the hotel - waving goodbye to Ron, Tom and Jordan. I hope they fare well, none of their phones work in Japan, and with my departure the last working phone goes too (thanks Steve Jobs). The bus is another stroke of genius. Everything's in Japanese. Feeling rather self conscious, I get on. A ticket machine spits out a piece of paper at me; it has a bunch of Japanese characters and a big "6". Sitting down, I observe that above the front of the bus, next to the driver, is a giant LED panel with 30 numbers, from 1-30. Under each number is a smaller LED panel. Below numbers 1-6 are fare amounts (190, 150, 120 yen, etc.). At each stop on the bus's route, another Yen amount appears under the next stop number (e.g. at the next stop, a fare amount appears under 7). Absolute brilliance. I soon realize that the fare number means, when you get off, look at your ticket for your number, and the fare amount under that LED panel is the amount you pay.

In addition to this language-proof scheme, the bus is apparently a hybrid bus... or something. When it stops at traffic lights, after a while, you can hear the engine shut off. Wait a while more, and the A/C shuts off too. Then, when it turns green, the bus driver presses this pedal, and everything starts back up again. Fuel economy? Perhaps. Genius? Definitely.

I enter a cafe to grab some breakfast and begin with a ham and egg sandwich. The helpers behind the counter are obsequiously polite once again. They each turn on that gorgeous sun-bright smile. I love this place! In fact, I love these people. And I love this cafe! Of course I would like to spend my money here, they definitely deserve my business. In fact, I should buy a hot dog after my egg sandwich. Am I going crazy??? Naw, these people are too nice.

I discovered at that cafe that the combination of a hot dog with hot salsa (the kind you get in the Tostitos brand jar) is actually very good! As I wolf one down, one of the helpers brings me a glass of water, even though I didn't ask for one (water's free). How nice!

The only thing that wasn't absolutely divine was that I thought they put in too much lettuce, and in such a way that made it very hard to extricate. At least from the hot dog.

The last thing I have to say is that when I reached Narita airport, there were escalators that were like normal escalators except sloped at a lower angle, so that you could put the luggage carts on them! Wow! God damn why are these people so SENSIBLE?!

Fine

For good times, make it Suntory times.